The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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