so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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