Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
