I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
