Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
