Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
