Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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