My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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