I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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