I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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