I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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