I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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