I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
sex in a hospital.. check
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
