she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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