The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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