Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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