Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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