MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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