forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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