we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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