We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
