If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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