My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
