scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
