i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
