I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
