I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
