I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
