im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
