Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
They took my balls.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
