i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
