is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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