Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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