i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
