We won't sleep together?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
