Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
