I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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