So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
