He asked to "fluff my boner.."
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
