Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
