we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
