I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
