I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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