Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
