The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
i think im in europe. pls send help
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
