so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
