Buhtt sex?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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