I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
