i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
