according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
